Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I have post one night stand depression
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