i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Even my vagina gasped.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
