It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
