if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
