we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
