its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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