This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
