That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
