Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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