brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
