i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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