Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
