Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
