I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
