Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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