White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
