So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
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