she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
