Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish i was in the wii world.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
