i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
