i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
