Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
