I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Can Purell be used as lube?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
