he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
