if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
