sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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