instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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