Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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