I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
