New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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