I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
