If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
