Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize