i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I intend to get homeless drunk
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
