I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
