they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
