***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
