man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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