Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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