We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
