Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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