Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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