Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
