I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
