Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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