god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Damn victory sex feels great
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
