Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
