I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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