saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
