I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
